First Run

Well this morning I charged up my ipod, grabbed a bottle of water, loaded up the kids and went for a run. I only made it about 4 songs on my ipod before I realized that the tires are basically completely flat when the kids are in the stroller. I slowed my already snails pace because I didn't want to blow a tube. The girls were well behaved or at least I assume they were since I couldn't really look down. The stroller pulled so hard to the right that it was a fight to keep it going straight. Today's run was cut short because I couldn't assure the safety of the kiddos. We pulled into the driveway and I parked them in front of the garage. I spent a few minutes shuffling stuff around and managed to park the stroller in there with no problem. It saves me from figuring out how to fold the thing and it will be easier to get in and out.

I must make a note to fill the tires before tomorrows attempt.

Stroller....check

I'm one step closer to actually starting to run. My dearest friend found a double stroller and I brought it home yesterday. Today I loaded up the little girls, carefully wrapping a blanket around them, just in case I picked up enough speed to actually cause a breeze and tested it out on our short walk to school. Turning it is a new experience for me, I've never had a fixed wheel stroller. Also it probably weighs three times as much as my side by side does. After Gabriella went into school I took the girls for a quick walk around the neighborhood. We made it maybe a few blocks before it started to sprinkle and I turned around and headed home. It was a quick jog home in an effort to keep the girls from getting wet. The ride was smooth but I know it's going to take me a while to get use to it. Tomorrow, baring any weather issues we will take our first real run.

**Just a note, when I say run I probably mean more of a hurried shuffle. I'm by no means going to be moving fast, but still it's still moving.

How far is a 5K?

I have a goal, I want to run the Tinkerbell half marathon next year. I want to stay at the Disneyland hotel and hobble around disneyland the day after with a huge sense of accomplishment. In case you don't know, which I bet most of you do, a half marathon is 13.1 miles. I must say I get a bit nervous thinking about making it such a distance. But I know I can do it, especially since I would be jogging past my favorite attractions. Training must start immediately. First step is to start running, any distance, all the time. My wonderful friend Molly found me a double jogging stroller. It was a necessity, I couldn't imagine the cost of finding a babysitter every morning so I could run. So the new plan, starting next week everyday after I drop Gabriella at school I'll take the twins for a run. I hope they'll like it. Once I build up my distance there is a great park they can play at when we stop half way. I hope this works out, I hope I can stick with it. It's a year away, such a long time to keep up a goal. But with my Disneyland passes I can remind myself of the goal. The first goal will be to run a 5k. A fun run if you will. Hopefully I can accomplish that in March.

Weigh out

I weighed myself this morning and after days of cheating and ignoring the diet plan I'd set up the scale gave me a stark assessment of my behavior. While I'm still down overall, I'm up for the week. Instead of licking my wounds via a bowl of ice cream I did two work outs this morning.

Motivation has become an issue, once the day starts and the stress begins I'm no longer interested in working out. Therefore this week I'm going to try something different. I'm going to try to work out before the girls get up. It's a system that worked before when I did boot camp. Based on my calculations I only need to get up an hour early which should coincide with when my husband leaves for work. So a kiss on the cheek will be my new wake up call.

That's all for today, I hope to have a cheerier blog later in the week, but today I can't help but feel like I've failed.

Cheating

The thing about diets is that if you cheat you are only hurting yourself. Rationalizing your choices by making excuses for bad behavior is still cheating. I was reading a cool blog about a woman's food journal. The difference between my journal and hers was that rather than putting in only meals and snacks she included every sip, lick and taste. Anything that went into her mouth she made note of. I do not do that, but probably should. I find myself sampling the kids food, to check for temperature or seasoning. I have a tasting spoon next to my stove which I use constantly when I cook. It's the sign of a good cook, but it's also a sign of denial. I know there is butter in the little girls eggs and that I don't really need to have a giant bite to make sure they aren't too hot. I could easily check the temperature with my finger, but I don't. I want some of those delicious eggs and I never write my sample down. Today I found myself taste testing my guacamole with a chip, to make sure the seasoning was good. I started by having a chip, adjusting the seasoning, having another chip, adding some salt, having another chip then a squirt of lime, well you get the point. I probably had one serving of chips just "testing" the guac. I need to hold myself more accountable because no one else is. No one else knows what I eat in a day. I can lie in my food journal but the scale knows the truth and deep down so do I.

Wacky Wednesday Weigh In

I think the posting everyday on this blog is a bit of a pipe dream. I can't find 5 minutes to go to the bathroom alone much less a few minutes longer to try to piece together a full sentenced blog.

Anyway it's weigh in day and as of last week I've lost another 1.5 pounds. It's not much but this week I tried a lot of different workouts, some obviously less strenuous than others. My new favorite is Just Dance 3 for wii. I'm sure it would be more fun if I had a connect but I'm not buying an x-box just so I don't have to hold a controller. The sweat option on the game is awesome, if you do the entire playlist, which I think is maybe 10 songs you work out for around 45 minutes. There is a 7 day work out option on there which is what I'm going to try this week. It gives you the same amount of sweat as walking, running or swimming for 30 minutes. I did the work out and finished in the 30 minute time frame, but it was a challenge. The challenge was not the moves or my endurance it was my children. Just two of them, both 17 months old, running around while I'm trying to dance. I thought since they enjoy music and dancing that they would get a kick out of watching me. I was clearly wrong. Also I have a list of errands to run that is as long as my arm and I wanted to finish the work out, shower, change the girls and get out of the house in time to finish before school pick up. Unfortunately this proved to be too ambitious a goal. As I type this the girls are down for a nap and I'm sitting here with dripping hair contemplating what things I can slice off my list to do on another day.

Here is a little visual of how the work out went. Picture a living room, slightly cluttered with toys and shoes. The offending items have been pushed out of the way to make room for the curvy woman standing in the middle of the room. She holds the wii remote in one hand, clicking the options on the screen. Below here two small gnome-like children meander around picking up the toys and pressing buttons on the dvd player. The music begins and all three people turn their attention to the television. The largest one starts gesticulating in an effort to keep up with the dancing image on screen. The gnomes take this as an opportunity to try to steal each other's toys, which leads to someone hitting the other over the head with a shoe. The injured party immediately runs to dancing mommy in order to be comforted. They receive no such comfort and in response they throw themselves on the floor directly in front of mommy's dancing feet. Mommy steps back, onto a pointy toy, and then forward gently nudging the child out of the way. The other child feeling like she wants to join in the fun sneaks up behind mommy and grabs her pant leg. Dancing mommy is now moving disjointedly with two children hanging on her. The song ends and as she reaches down to pick up someone but they immediately get up and move onto something else. Convinced, stupidly, that she can continue dancing mommy starts the next song. The crying, clinging and all around insanity continue for another 3 songs before it becomes eerily quiet. Dancing mommy, cringes and decides to finish the workout. Once finished she hobbles towards her bedroom with only a cool shower on her mind. As she passes over the threshold she sees two little gnomes pulling all the clean laundry out of a basket. Shrugging she moves on to the bathroom and starts the water. Interested in the sound of water the girls drop what their doing and wander in just as mommy steps into the shower. Finding their mother trapped behind glass with soapy hair and closed eyes they take the opportunity to riffle through the sink cabinets. Pulling out all manners of feminine products, they leave the bathroom to sprinkle them around the house where mommy won't find them but assuredly a visiting guest will. That not being enough the second mommy steps out of the shower she is accosted by two crying babies, each demanding to be picked up immediately. Mommy does just that, announcing nap time in the process and dropping the offending subjects into their tiny mattressed prisons.

By the way, the girls still aren't asleep and I suppose if I was a glutton for punishment I could get them up, dressed and still probably run all my errands.

The Weigh In

Week one has come and gone so it's time to drag out the scale. I have a strange love of my scale, it's very modern looking, digital, goes up to like 400 pounds of something so I know I won't break it when I stand on it, and at least for this week had some good news for me. I lost just over 4 pounds. Not bad for the first week. I imagine it's water weight and the loss of my fatty snack at 10 at night. I like to think some of my clothes are fitting better but I think that is just my imagination.

This first week wasn't that hard. I got a work out or some sort of strength training in every day. I learned some valuable lessons about doing this whole weight loss stuff at home. First, wait until the kids are occupied before starting your workout or you may find yourself apologizing for kicking a kid in the bottom for no reason. Plus they just look at you with these weird appraising looks and if they talk they make comments about your form. Second, if you don't have healthy food in your house then you can't eat it. When you find yourself hungry for a snack the last thing you want to do it get in the car. Carl's Jr is the closest place to my house and I don't even have to get out of my car. Thirdly, water is necessary for a healthy lifestyle and it can be jazzed up with a bit of fruit. Cucumber water just tastes like dirty water, I don't recommend it. Finally, it is important to share your goals with your spouse so they understand why there is a bushel of broccoli in your fridge and that fish is going into heavy rotation in weekly meals.

Thank you for all the support. I week down 51 to go.

Day 6/Day 7

This post is late because I was busy walking around yesterday. I need to dust off my pedometer so I can actually have a number to put in my weight watchers points. The family and I went to the World Famous San Diego zoo as our family outing. We walked all over the zoo, I pushed the girls in the stroller. It was easy to eat healthfully because salads are available all over the park. Dinner was a simple piece of fish, expertly prepared by my husband. My calves are hurting today and when I did my cardio work out I stopped at about 25 minutes because it was burning so badly.

Today I was dying for Risotto, now there isn't really a way to make this low calorie. But I did have a small serving and added to it with a lot of spinach. The girls loved it and I think I'll use it as a tasty lunch treat for them the rest of the week.

Drinking has become a bit of a challenge these days. The goal is to drink a gallon of water a day, which is completely possible, but it gets so boring. I got a bag of lemons at the store and I'm already tired of having lemon in my water. I'm thinking of branching out to different fruits, tomorrow maybe blueberries or apples? I'll let you know how they turn out.

Day 5

Today was rough. I did a 1oo sit ups but not all the way up. I tried to do a few push ups, but it was really hard. I guess the day was all about family. I went to church, I had a great day watching a movie with my family.

I went over my points, I didn't really do my work out. But today I was happy.

Day 4

Thank you to all who suggested websites, I plan to try all of them. Also thank you to those who are following, you being there is a constant source of encouragement and accountability. By the way in case you haven't noticed there will hopefully be one post a day for the whole year. It may be short and silly but I am hoping I can get at least 340 posts on this blog for the year. I'm giving myself time off for a vacation that hasn't been planned yet.

Ah Saturday, a day for sleeping in and lounging around in pajamas. I did start the day that way but at 8:45 I strapped on my bra and turned on my Zumba. I was a little fearful because my husband was home. He's never seen me work out...ever. We've gone running together once, when I was in peak shape and he just looked at me over his shoulder the whole time, holding a full conversation with me only grunting or wheezing in response. Plus of course I'm jiggling all over the place and the video itself is so cheesy. He put the girls down for a nap and came out to work on putting away the Christmas decorations. He made a few comments about how silly the people in the video looked but that was it. The good news, I made it through the full 45 minute work out. I hope it's the first of many 45 minute work outs. There was a filling sense of pride as I limped towards the shower.

Food wise everything was homemade today. I have to say it's so much easier to monitor points when you make your own food. I managed to come in under the point total and I had a nice glass of wine with dinner.

Day 3

Another day has passed and I'm almost ready for bed. Today was weird because I wasn't at home. Gabriella had to be tortured at the dentist this morning at 9 am so last night I packed up all the girls and we headed up to beautiful Placentia for the night.

This morning I woke up early-ish with just enough time to take a quick walk around my parents neighborhood. I remember my mom doing this same walk many early mornings before she drove to school. I started off, instantly regretting my belief that it would be too warm to need a jacket. Wearing my short sleeved shirt and gray pajama pants I walked down the street trying to keep the pace moderate. I get to the corner and turn right, ahead of me is a man dressed like he was about to go ice fishing in Alaska. No joke this was his ensemble: a beanie, earmuff headband, scarf, huge snow jacket and gloves. He was walking faster than me but I got a full view as he turned at the end of the block to head back in my direction. I whispered a quiet good morning and he said the same, both our breaths condensing into steam. I wonder if he thought I was a member of the polar bear club or maybe I was from back east. Either way I turned the corner and started up the slight incline to the top of the block. It's not a big hill, my car doesn't even switch gears when I drive up it but this morning it seemed a little daunting. I used my favorite coping tool as I tried to keep an even pace, "it could be worse, I could be pushing the stroller. The thought of adding 50 pounds of kid plus 19 pounds of stroller weight to the hill made me go a little faster. Another thing that added to my quick footedness was the fact that kids were walking to school. The wafting of Justin Beiber perfume as I passed a particularly fragrant pair was enough to move me along faster than any mental motivation. I crest the top of this hill and was greeted by the warm, blinding rays of sunshine. I turn and head across the top of this scenic little block. On the opposite side of the street there are two gentlemen who looked like old versions of the kids from the movie Newsies. They wave from across the street and I couldn't be sure but one may have told me to get a jacket, by that point my ears were frozen. Now it's important to note that at this point in the walk I realize that I have no watch, phone or any time telling device with the exception of the sun which would burn my retinas if I even glance in its direction. Why is this important you ask? The dentist appointment was at 9, which meant we should leave by 8. I left the house at 7:10 and at the rate my heart was pounding I could guess it had been about 15 minutes. Not trusting my math I hurried a little more. Making my way down the hill I thought about running but decided that I didn't want to look foolish on a major street and I would save that sort of jiggling for the treadmill in my garage. Turning the final corner I began to quicken my pace, completely convinced at this point that it was almost 8 and I would have to go into this dental appointment without a shower. I rushed into the house only to see the dental appointee still lounging in her robe on the couch like a bon bon eating housewife. Looking at the clock I saw that it was only 7:42 and that I had plenty of time to get ready. As I shampooed my hair in the shower I realized that I had actually walked for 30 minutes, which meant one of two things. One, the path around the neighborhood was a lot longer than I thought or two, my quick pace was anything but. Either way I got my exercise for the day.

Food wise today was a little tough. Breakfast was easy, an over easy egg and a cup of coffee. Lunch was at Island's where they have a nice selection of tasty lower calorie food. On the way home I stopped at Del Taco because I was hungry or bored, it's really hard to say because those feelings are tied deeply together for me. I got two chicken soft tacos and made myself take my time eating them. They lasted a good twenty miles. I also got a bottle of water with them, so I had the illusion that they were healthier because they weren't being washed down with soda. Dinner was a breeze, I made lemon pepper panko chicken, baked in the oven with rice pilaf and veggies. I made it through the day with 2 points to spare.

Day 3, good.

Day 2

I suppose the second day of weight loss is just as easy as the first. Still primed with motivation and a good outlook on the whole process, the routine just fell into place. I tried the zumba sculpt and tone dvd. It includes these handy weighted maracas. They maybe weigh a few pounds at the most. However they should probably come with some sort of a wrist guard like the wii remote. Once the workout began I pretty much lost feeling in my sausage fingers by maybe 5 minutes in. But I persevered and managed to make it 30 minutes. The DVD is 45 minutes and I hope that in the future I will make it through the whole thing. I made it through 10 more minutes than the day before and thankfully the peanut gallery was busy with a painting project. She did bring me a bottle of water and insisted I make sure to hydrate. It was a sweet gesture and the fact that a comment about how sweaty I was wasn't included made it even better.

Food wise, I stayed within my points. I discovered a new delicious salmon dish using miso paste and a whole bag of spinach. I even made it through a Joe's Crab shack dinner with 7 points to spare. I have a theory about why a bucket of crabs is so low on the point scale, you spend so much time cracking them, wiping your fingers, tossing the shells and giving some to the starving child next to you that you don't really eat any of them. Also thanks to the bbq seasoning rub I discovered a lot of small cuts on my hands. The pain obviously made me eat less.

Early to rise and the mild to moderate exercise made me tired. The fact that the power was out at my parents house when we arrived made going to bed early a non-issue.

I deem day 2 a success.

Day 1

The first day is behind me and I've decided on a two pronged plan for weight loss. The first thing is weight watchers, I mean have you seen those commercials with Jennifer Hudson. The second is to exercise daily.

I realized that losing weight is a really simple process, eat less calories than you burn in a day. So simple yet completely daunting. It's kind of annoying that it proposes to be so simple yet people have such a difficult time achieving their weight loss goals. If you lose too fast then you get flaps of skin hanging everywhere, too slowly and you lose motivation and give up. No wonder the weigh loss industry is so profitable. Hard work isn't fun and it seems in my experience that it's really the only way to lose weight. Blood, sweat, tears and lots of vegetables.

I've done this before, lost a lot of weight. When I lived abroad I went to an amazing boot camp which snapped me into shape and I lost in total about 50 pounds. Then I got pregnant with twins and took the whole eating for two thing way too far. Then I moved back to the states where there are so many eating options and I feel like I've been trying to eat them all over the course of the last year.

Here are the stats from yesterday.

I stayed within my points for weight watchers, barely.

I did 20 minutes of basic zumba.

Funny anecdote. Yesterday after I did my "workout" I mean really 20 minutes isn't anything, but after the first few minutes I was convinced I was going to have some sort of coronary so I didn't want to push it. My 6 year old life coach was calling out encouragement from the couch and critiquing my form. When I was done I didn't shower or change, I wore those sweaty monkey pajamas as a badge of honor all day. By the time I went to bed last night, after taking care of a couple of sick twinsters I stank. But I knew that I'd be working out again this morning so I decided against a nighttime shower. It was really gross and I won't be doing it again.

An Introduction

My name is Therese and yesterday the scale read 300 pounds. I can't believe I'm sharing that on the internet but I am. I feel so embarrassed that a number, a very high one, can make me feel so depressed. But instead of crawling into a huge bowl of spaghetti carbonara, which is probably what got me to this point in the first place, I'm making this the year of losing. I have 365 days to work on losing weight. I suppose I should set a goal, how about 100 pounds. I don't know if that is even possible but I'll just throw it out there. Next year on January 4th I'd like to post my final blog stating that the scale read 200 pounds. I think the goal is outrageous but reach for the moon and you land in the stars.

Well here I go, wish me luck.

Ugh, I guess I should post a hideous before picture. This is from the first of December.